The advice I wish Id been given at 10, 20, 30, 40, and 50

This summer, I spent a week in Mexico with my two young sons who, on occasion, want to tap into my wisdom. While there, I received an email from a new friend, a generation younger than me, who asked this 57-year-old to give him the kind of advice I wish I’d heard as a 42-year-old. Knowing my advice might be valuable gave me a renewed sense of purpose. But, unfortunately, many of us in our fifties or older feel increasingly invisible as if we don’t have much to offer the world. When I surveyed nearly 200 middle-aged people about their life and career in preparation for writing my new book, Wisdom@Work: The Making of a Modern Elder, my number one surprise was how often the word â€Å"irrelevant† came up in conversations. One person described feeling like an old carton of milk, with an expiration date stamped on their wrinkled forehead. Others felt obsolescent, like an old rusting machine. One paradox of our time is that we enjoy better health than ever later into life, remain vibrant, and stay in the workplace longer. But we feel less and less relevant. Here’s an exercise you might consider as a means of harvesting and appreciating your wisdom. What advice would you give to a 10-year-old who was mature enough to take it? Or to yourself if you could time-travel back to when you were 10? Now, move to a 20-year-old and offer a couple pieces of sage advice. Keep going until you reach your current age. I spent less than an hour reflecting and writing what I’ve offered below, so don’t be frightened by the time commitment. And, imagine if you kept a â€Å"Wisdom Book† by your bedside table and added a few meaningful observations each week. My advice to a 10-year-old 1. Learn what will serve you later, especially those subjects or skills that are much harder to pick up later in life: a foreign language or three, surfing or skiing, guitar or drawing. You’re less likely to be critical of yourself at this age (depending upon your parents) and you can operate with a growth mindset (always trying to improve yourself) as opposed to a fixed mindset (always trying to prove yourself). A growth mindset will serve you well in your life. Know that regret for what you didn’t do is twice as painful as regret for something you did which didn’t turn out well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. 2. Experience what it means to be â€Å"the other.† The world is full of â€Å"others† and it’s when we’re young that we learn the empathy to know what it feels like to be the other. Encourage your parents, if they can afford it, to take you to as many countries as possible. If travel is not possible, then hit the library to explore books and movies that can take you to another place to learn about other cultures. Consider being a foreign-exchange student when you get to high school. In an increasingly diverse world that needs oodles more empathy, you’ll be on an accelerated path to becoming a full-fledged healthy adult if you learn this. A growth mindset will serve you well in your life. Know that regret for what you didn’t do is twice as painful as regret for something you did which didn’t turn out well. My advice to a 20-year-old 1. Look at how you learn best and then double-down on that means of learning, whether it be visual, aural, verbal, or physical. We live in a world where learning and coloring outside the lines are becoming increasingly accepted, and the internet offers you so many ways to learn. Know that your best learning may come from those who care the most about you. Become open to constructive criticism without reacting. 2. Long ago, Dale Carnegie offered a little snake oil with his bestselling book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. I was forced to read it at age 19 as a budding commercial real estate salesperson and, while it felt a little inauthentic, I did learn quite a bit about human nature. Psychology may be the most important class you take in college as it’s been proven that EQ (emotional intelligence) is likely more important than IQ or experience when it comes to one’s career path. Surround yourself with the people you want to become. My twenties were spent with a lot of artists, which was balancing for my type-A entrepreneur self. We often judge ourselves relative to those who surround us—whether that’s based upon salary, beauty, or sense of perspective, or humor. Nestle yourself in a healthy neighborhood as you will be more influenced by your neighbors than you think. My advice to a 30-year-old 1. Make sure you and your inner child go out on a date every so often. You’re a full-fledged adult now, which means you think you’re not supposed to play. The truth is, play, curiosity, and creativity may be the differentiators in your career and your happiness. Give more attention to the â€Å"why† and â€Å"what if† questions a 4-year-old might ask because it’s in our thirties when we get a little too possessed with the â€Å"what† and â€Å"how† optimization questions of life. 2.  Find a mindfulness practice that suits you—meditation, prayer, journaling, yoga—as this is the decade when your â€Å"monkey mind† goes wild with so many options to consider. Be more mindful, less monkey. And, blessedly, get more sleep—an essential of life that becomes more precious in our thirties. Presence may be your greatest present to yourself. The truth is, play, curiosity, and creativity may be the differentiators in your career and your happiness. My advice to a 40-year-old 1. The U-curve of happiness is well-established and shows that the roughest patch of ones life is the forties, so be prepared for a bumpy ride as Disappointment = Expectations Reality. This is the period when expectations (and the possibility that you wont meet them) start to become acute. 2. Make sure youve created some emotional insurance via individuals or groups of people with whom you can be vulnerable and curious. This is especially important for middle-aged men, as this is a particularly treacherous decade for them and they tend not to connect with their peers as easily or in the same way women do. My advice to a 50-year-old 1. The first half of your life is focused more on accumulating: success, responsibilities, family, friends, hobbies, identities. A mid-life crisis is often about feeling weighed-down by all of this. Focus on whats most important in your life and start the process of editing that which doesnt serve or nourish you. 2. Viktor Frankl wrote in his epic book Man’s Search for Meaning, â€Å"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is your power to choose your response. And, in your response lies your growth and your freedom.† No wiser three sentences have ever been written about emotional maturity. If you haven’t mastered the difference between reaction and response by this time in your life, it’s essential you take a crash course now. Start by reading Frankl’s book. Focus on whats most important in your life and start the process of editing that which doesnt serve or nourish you. Interested in learning more from Chip? Register here for our exclusive webinar on October 2nd, where Chip will be sharing more lessons on staying relevant at all stages of your career. After running his own successful boutique hotel company for close to 25 years, Chip was invited by Airbnb’s millennial CEO/co-founder to join the company as head of global hospitality and strategy. Chip started out as a mentor to a digital native but soon realized he was equally as much an intern in the high-tech world. This intergenerational exchange of wisdom—a modern-day trade agreement of EQ (emotional intelligence) for DQ (digital intelligence)—turned into an invaluable four-year journey for both that inspired his new book,  Wisdom@Work: The Making of a Modern Elder. Hult offers a range of highly skills-focused and employability-driven business school programs including a range of MBA options and a comprehensive one year Masters in International Business. To find out more, take a look at our blog Why going to business school in 2019 is a resolution you should keep. Download a brochure or get in touch today to find out how Hult can help you to learn about the business world, the future, and yourself. Hult Rotation offers you a chance to study in a truly global way. Our rotation program allows you to study and be immersed in some of the finest cities in the world. 📠¸: @jasminmanzano . Hult Rotation offers you a chance to study in a truly global way. Our rotation program allows you to study and be immersed in some of the finest cities in the world. 📠¸: @jasminmanzano . Each year, Hult seeks to enroll a talented and ambitious incoming class from all over the world. We look for diverse students with a wide range of experiences, perspectives, and interests—students who will thrive in our unique educational atmosphere. Are you ready for a truly global experience? 📠¸: @iambrunadiniz . Each year, Hult seeks to enroll a talented and ambitious incoming class from all over the world. We look for diverse students with a wide range of experiences, perspectives, and interests—students who will thrive in our unique educational atmosphere. Are you ready for a truly global experience? 📠¸: @iambrunadiniz . We’re excited to start 2020 on a ranking high! Hult is proud to have been placed #28 in Poets Quants 2020 rankings for Best Undergraduate Business Schools in the US. Taking a huge leap of 32 places from our 2019 position, we’re also very happy to have secured top positions in key categories like: life-changing experience, practicality of the degree, and global immersion. . With five global campuses, a student body of over 130 nationalities, and a learn-by-doing approach—Hult offers a student experience like no other. . We’re excited to start 2020 on a ranking high! Hult is proud to have been placed #28 in Poets Quants 2020 rankings for Best Undergraduate Business Schools in the US. Taking a huge leap of 32 places from our 2019 position, we’re also very happy to have secured top positions in key categories like: life-changing experience, practicality of the degree, and global immersion. . With five global campuses, a student body of over 130 nationalities, and a learn-by-doing approach—Hult offers a student experience like no other. . â€Å"I’m from an engineering background and needed a whole new skill set for the industry I wanted to switch to. I learned a lot about myself and how I deal with being out of my comfort zone. I learned both soft and hard skills, from how to work in very diverse teams to key accounting metrics and strategy. I was surprised by how weak I was at certain tasks in English or how strong I actually was in other areas. Hult gave me opportunities to try new things and meet people from places I never thought I would have friends. . My internship experiences gave me the chance to broaden my view of different cultures and different companies. I had the opportunity to work and live with people whose values differed from people in my home country. I thought that this would be difficult, but it gave me the chance to reflect on my own values and assess if they were a result of my home country environment or if they were intrinsically mine. . Diederick ter Kulve (@diederick.terkulve) Netherlands Masters in International Business . â€Å"I’m from an engineering background and needed a whole new skill set for the industry I wanted to switch to. I learned a lot about myself and how I deal with being out of my comfort zone. I learned both soft and hard skills, from how to work in very diverse teams to key accounting metrics and strategy. I was surprised by how weak I was at certain tasks in English or how strong I actually was in other areas. Hult gave me opportunities to try new things and meet people from places I never thought I would have friends. . My internship experiences gave me the chance to broaden my view of different cultures and different companies. I had the opportunity to work and live with people whose values differed from people in my home country. I thought that this would be difficult, but it gave me the chance to reflect on my own values and assess if they were a result of my home country environment or if they were intrinsically mine. . Diederick ter Kulve (@diederick.terkulve) Netherlands Masters in International Business . Say a big hello to our Bachelor of Business Administration program cover star, Elisa Orus Plana âÅ" ¨ . â€Å"I’m excited for the future—especially that I cant predict whats going to happen. Maybe Ill end up in Mexico working for a trading company or maybe in Africa, developing my own business. Everything is possible, and the options are constantly changing. I love the idea that Im never going to be stuck doing the same job until the end of my life if I dont want it to be like this. . Hult really supports me and my ambitions and truly believes that we deserve to be considered as professionals as well as students. Here, I get to express not just my opinions but all elements of myself. From my creative side with the Fashion Society to my finance and business sides in Trading Club and the Management Consulting Club. We get a different type of learning here. Not just essential knowledge and theory, but practical skills and mindset. The school is always evolving. We’re encouraged to innovate and to always look for new ways of doing traditional things. We learn how to be more confident and become aware of how we can impact our environment. The school aims to help you become a better version of yourself and to stand out from the crowd.â€Å" . Elisa Orus Plana French Bachelor of Business Administration Class of 2021 Say a big hello to our Bachelor of Business Administration program cover star, Elisa Orus Plana âÅ" ¨ . â€Å"I’m excited for the future—especially that I cant predict whats going to happen. Maybe Ill end up in Mexico working for a trading company or maybe in Africa, developing my own business. Everything is possible, and the options are constantly changing. I love the idea that Im never going to be stuck doing the same job until the end of my life if I dont want it to be like this. . Hult really supports me and my ambitions and truly believes that we deserve to be considered as professionals as well as students. Here, I get to express not just my opinions but all elements of myself. From my creative side with the Fashion Society to my finance and business sides in Trading Club and the Management Consulting Club. We get a different type of learning here. Not just essential knowledge and theory, but practical skills and mindset. The school is always evolving. We’re encouraged to innovate and to always look for new ways of doing traditional things. We learn how to be more confident and become aware of how we can impact our environment. The school aims to help you become a better version of yourself and to stand out from the crowd.â€Å" . Elisa Orus Plana French Bachelor of Business Administration Class of 2021"> During the final days of 2019, you probably reflected on what you’ve accomplished this year—and even this decade—and what you’d like to achieve in 2020. Let us know in the comments below. During the final days of 2019, you probably reflected on what you’ve accomplished this year—and even this decade—and what you’d like to achieve in 2020. Let us know in the comments below. â€Å"The first time we did group work on the program, I went head-to-head with a colleague. It taught me a lot about how I see people, how people see me, and how conflict can be resolved in a kind and productive way. The best feedback you get, when delivered constructively, is the most critical because it really feeds into how you lead. I’ve completely reversed my leadership style—the result is so much richer and more powerful when you lead from behind and lead with strength. . Studying in tandem with working, whilst challenging, gave me the perfect platform to directly apply learning concepts into my business environment, the competitive landscape, and the real-estate industry as a whole. When I started the program, I was very happy in my corporate role. But my courage and aspirations grew to the point that I took on a whole new direction. Having my career coach, Joanna, as a sounding board allowed me to really be strategic and get to know myself. She coached me thro ugh all the interviews, the research, and the questions. It went in parallel with what I was doing academically and after six months everything just clicked. . I went into the EMBA knowing I had nothing to lose and I’ve come out with everything. Great strength, global friends, amazing learning, mentors from professors, a job I love, and the knowledge that I can set my mind to achieve anything and with the right support and resources I’ll get there.† . Kashani Wijetunga British, New Zealand Sri Lankan Associate Director Senior Strategy Consultant CBRE EMBA Class of 2019 . â€Å"The first time we did group work on the program, I went head-to-head with a colleague. It taught me a lot about how I see people, how people see me, and how conflict can be resolved in a kind and productive way. The best feedback you get, when delivered constructively, is the most critical because it really feeds into how you lead. I’ve completely reversed my leadership style—the result is so much richer and more powerful when you lead from behind and lead with strength. . Studying in tandem with working, whilst challenging, gave me the perfect platform to directly apply learning concepts into my business environment, the competitive landscape, and the real-estate industry as a whole. When I started the program, I was very happy in my corporate role. But my courage and aspirations grew to the point that I took on a whole new direction. Having my career coach, Joanna, as a sounding board allowed me to really be strategic and get to know myself. She coached me thro ugh all the interviews, the research, and the questions. It went in parallel with what I was doing academically and after six months everything just clicked. . I went into the EMBA knowing I had nothing to lose and I’ve come out with everything. Great strength, global friends, amazing learning, mentors from professors, a job I love, and the knowledge that I can set my mind to achieve anything and with the right support and resources I’ll get there.† . Kashani Wijetunga British, New Zealand Sri Lankan Associate Director Senior Strategy Consultant CBRE EMBA Class of 2019 . â€Å"It was now or never. I knew that I’d have likely stayed in my neighborhood for years to come if I didn’t take this opportunity. I’d not lived or studied outside of the U.S. before. So I left my job as a global strategist at an advertising agency and moved halfway around the world. I’ve come back a more culturally aware, well-versed person. I’ve realized that everything is a learning experience and an opportunity for growth. Ill definitely carry this mindset with me into the future. Technology and social media allow us to be different people in several places at once. Im excited to see how I can establish myself in whatever city Ill be lucky enough to call home and still maintain deep connections with people all over the world. I’m inspired by my classmates every day. Hearing some of their life stories and how getting this degree fits into their greater mission has been very humbling. My biggest challenge has been finding the ‘right’ path for me. There have been rooms Ive felt like I shouldnt be in, but now Im proud to feel as though I truly belong, wherever I am.† . Dwayne Logan, Jnr. American MBA Class of 2019 . â€Å"It was now or never. I knew that I’d have likely stayed in my neighborhood for years to come if I didn’t take this opportunity. I’d not lived or studied outside of the U.S. before. So I left my job as a global strategist at an advertising agency and moved halfway around the world. I’ve come back a more culturally aware, well-versed person. I’ve realized that everything is a learning experience and an opportunity for growth. Ill definitely carry this mindset with me into the future. Technology and social media allow us to be different people in several places at once. Im excited to see how I can establish myself in whatever city Ill be lucky enough to call home and still maintain deep connections with people all over the world. I’m inspired by my classmates every day. Hearing some of their life stories and how getting this degree fits into their greater mission has been very humbling. My biggest challenge has been finding the ‘right’ path for me. There have been rooms Ive felt like I shouldnt be in, but now Im proud to feel as though I truly belong, wherever I am.† . Dwayne Logan, Jnr. American MBA Class of 2019 . Happy New Year, Hultians! . Happy New Year, Hultians! .